The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have Is With YOU!

I used to think that the most important relationship I could ever have was the one I was supposed to have with my mother. Nope, that wasn’t it.

Then, I had kids, and I thought that the most important relationships I could ever have was the one I was supposed to have with my children. While those relationships are very important, that wasn’t it either.

Later in life I started becoming closer to a Higher Power — My God… and I thought THIS must be it. This is the MOST IMPORTANT relationship I will ever have in all of my days. But that wasn’t it either.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. End of story.

But it took me awhile to figure out why.

We all know that happiness in life comes from good, high-trusting relationships, right?

Well, the relationship I have with myself is absolutely critical because it is the foundation for all of the other relationships that I have in my life. If I have a strong relationship with myself, I will likely have stronger relationships with others around me — that includes my fiancé, my children, my co-workers, my friends, and even strangers.

So what does a healthy relationship with yourself look like?

There is a lot of talk about a healthy relationship being self-care, self-compassion, mindfulness, meditation, self-help, and other related things. However, these are only a few things that help maintain and sustain that healthy relationship with yourself once it has been developed. Having a really good and healthy relationship with myself means that I am happy with myself as who I am and I am my own friend.

After all, of all of the seven billion people on this beautiful planet, I am the only person I cannot run away from. I am also the only person who has had the firsthand experiences and direct access to my inner world (which we all know is probably a little crazy in there!). We can be as close as we want to other people (spouses, children, friends, etc) who may practically know what we are thinking, which is great an all, but we are absolutely unique to ourselves among all of the other seven billion human being on this planet. With that same respect, we that the same is true for every other person.

So like any real relationship, the relationship I have with myself begins with a foundation of trust. In order for me to trust myself, I have to trust my own wisdom and knowledge about myself. I also have love and appreciate myself, and have a sense of self-confidence and have the ability to lead myself.

I would be lying if I told you that the easiest relationship you would ever have was with yourself though, cause that’s just not true. Sometimes, to be honest I find it to be the most difficult and it is full of ups and downs.

How to Cultivate and Nurture Your Self-Relationship

Do Things Alone. The act of simply doing things alone in the world is absolutely incredibly powerful. When you accomplish a task or a big feat all by yourself, you are bonding with yourself, just as if you were bonding with a person that you shared the experience with. When you do this, you become stronger, more confident, and more understanding of who you are — which is an amazing and one of a kind feeling.

Set intentions for yourself. You should always set intentions for yourself, write them down, and remind yourself of them daily. Memorize them and repeat them in your mind like a little motto. I mean, without intention, what are we even doing? We are losing sight of who we are and why we do what we do, and why we are even alive. When we place intentions for our lives and our days, it helps get us out of bed, keeps us moving during those difficult times, and gives us that extra focus and motivation to really work for what we want.

Let how to self-care and self-soothe.

Remember, you are born and you die alone. As morbid as that may sound, it is the honest truth. This is why self-care and self-soothing habits are a must.

Self-care habits should include exercising, eating well, journaling on a regular basis, etc. Develop a self-care routine that works for you that helps reboot yourself consistently throughout the week. For me, sometimes that means taking a hot, bubble bath on a Sunday to get ready for the week.

And the second part of this is self-soothing, which is essentially just a crisis plan that you should have in place in the event of, well — crisis. What if something bad happens? You lose someone close to you, or you get laid off from work, or God forbid you get depressed — how will you handle these kinds of situations? Self-soothe. Have an action plan in place for times like this. It will help you focus on the self-soothing that you need by taking action in those moments rather than allowing the crisis to completely consume you.

Challenge yourself.

Challenging yourself is a good way to learn more about yourself. Always put yourself in the more uncomfortable and newer situations because you will learn your wants, needs, and pain points more thoroughly compared to if you were continue to do the same old things over and over again. So challenge yourself to keep exercising for a few extra minutes or to work a little longer towards something you absolutely love or to cut sugars out for a week or two. These acts of challenging yourself may seem big, but they are so small — and they add up to a great big deal of knowledge about who you are, and you learn more about the stronger, more badass person that you are.